The Best Conversations – The New York Times

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The Best Conversations – The New York Times

After my recent flight from Maine to New York was canceled, I found myself with the bounty of six hours alone in a rental car. I considered the headway I could make in the audiobook of “****** Copperhead,” but quickly abandoned that option for several episodes of the podcast “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend.” I wanted company. If I couldn’t chat away the hours with a passenger in the seat beside me, I wanted to listen to other people hitting it off.

Most episodes of the show run about an hour. Conan and his sidekicks ****** the breeze for a while, before he brings on a celebrity guest for an interview. The tone of the podcast is buoyant, full of comedic bits and good-natured teasing. It’s a fizzy soft drink, fun and weird and straightforward enough that you can follow along while keeping one eye on the GPS as you navigate the traffic around Worcester.

I listen to a lot of conversation-style podcasts — interview programs and panel discussions and shows where friends sit around and talk about whatever’s on their minds. What am I looking for in these podcasts? When celebrities are in the mix, there’s the thrill of getting a glimpse into the personal life of a public figure. When an expert is interviewed, I’m hoping to learn something. But I think what I’m really listening for is connection. The shows I love aren’t the ones where a host tees up questions and a dutiful guest answers. They’re the ones where you feel like you’re eavesdropping on real people getting closer, closer to each other or closer to a conversational destination that they didn’t know they were headed for when they set out.

Conan O’Brien has been having conversations professionally for most of his career. On his late-night shows, stars came on to promote their latest film projects, and he brought enough warmth and humor and weirdness to their repartee that viewers didn’t mind that they were being advertised to. His podcast feels much more intimate. I don’t delude myself that the sweet, affectionate chat Conan had with Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson on “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” is identical to the one they’d have if they weren’t creating entertainment for public consumption. But somewhere outside Hartford, I found myself so thoroughly entertained I stopped doing that thing where you keep pushing the speed limit a little more, hoping you’ll be able to knock a few minutes off your E.T.A. I didn’t care how long I had to go; I just wanted to keep listening and laughing along.

I’ve been making some conversation-style audio with The Times lately, and it’s made me listen to podcasts differently. It’s made me listen to other people differently. Is what makes a conversation interesting to take part in the same as what makes one interesting to listen to? My favorite conversations with friends, the ones in which I feel most connected, are sprawling, digressive, even repetitive. They go on for hours and often fail to reach a coherent conclusion.

But they have a key ingredient in common with the podcasts that I love: presence. In the best conversations, whether they’re between you and your mom on a marathon phone call or between a professional chat host and his comedically gifted guest, everyone is listening closely. They’re curious about each other, asking what my friend Aliza calls “generous questions.” They’re reacting authentically in the moment without a script or an agenda. They’re allowing the conversation to happen without muscling it toward any predetermined outcome.

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RECIPE OF THE WEEKGrilled Tofu

As we slide into these languid last weeks of summer, it’s time to ask yourself: Have you spent enough time at the grill? If the answer is no, ***** not! The team at Wirecutter is here to help with their August Grilling Challenge, which starts next week. Every Tuesday for the rest of the month, you’ll get an email with our favorite grilling recipes, along with Wirecutter’s recommendations for the best grilling gear — and exclusive discounts. (Sign up here.) In the meantime, why not make Kay Chun’s tangy-sweet

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? This easy recipe calls for soaking the tofu in a hot marinade spiked with ginger, ****** pepper and soy sauce, which is absorbed by the tofu in three hours instead of overnight. And if you don’t have a grill, a grill pan or broiler will work just as well.

Tradition: On the Hawaiian islands, artisans have been reviving the age-old practice of turning tree leaves into mats.

Birthrates: Many Americans are choosing not to have children — and it’s not, experts say, because of selfishness.

The Ethicist: “Can I ask straight women to stop calling their pals their ‘girlfriends’?”

Celebrity coffee: Household names including Tom Hanks and The Weeknd are ******** big on brew, hawking it with their own labels.

ADVICE FROM WIRECUTTERDon’t let sweat damage your tech

While modern devices like smartphones and earbuds are designed to withstand everyday wear and tear — including exposure to small amounts of moisture — they’re not invincible, especially when summer rolls around and life gets sweatier. Perspiration can deteriorate your tech over time. Fortunately, there are easy measures you can take to ensure your sweat doesn’t do any lasting damage. Wirecutter experts recommend limiting how much your devices come into contact with your skin, cleaning them at least once a week and keeping silica-gel packs where you stash your tech, which helps to soak up moisture. And no matter how wet your phone gets, don’t put it in a bag of rice. — Rose Maura Lorre

OLYMPICS GUIDESaturday

Track: It’s been more than two decades since an ********* held the title of world’s fastest woman. Sha’Carri Richardson, who missed the Tokyo Games after she tested positive for **********, has a shot at the crown today. She’s a favorite in the 100 meters.

Gymnastics: Simone Biles goes for gold in the vault, an event she won at the 2016 Games in Rio de Janeiro.

Swimming: Katie Ledecky has another shot at history. If she wins the 800-meter freestyle, she will become only the second swimmer — along with Michael Phelps — to win four gold medals in the same event.

Sunday

Table tennis: You’ve almost certainly played table tennis. Watch this final, between Truls Moregardh of Sweden and Fan Zhendong of China, to understand just how much better Olympians are at it than the rest of us.

Track: If Richardson wins the women’s 100 meters on Saturday, anticipation will be high for Noah Lyles to complete the U.S. sweep. Lyles is also a favorite in the 200 meters. The last ********* man to win both events was Carl Lewis.

Tennis: The men’s gold medal match is a rematch of last month’s Wimbledon final, with Carlos Alcaraz, the 21-year-old Spanish phenom, facing Novak Djokovic.

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#Conversations #York #Times

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