The Squids Are Using Our Own Tactics Against Us in Helldivers 2

[Pelican Press 0]

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

The Squids Are Using Our Own Tactics Against Us in Helldivers 2

The Illuminate have always been the most insufferably smug enemies threatening Super Earth’s rightful galactic dominance. But recent field reports reveal something that would make even the most battle-hardened Helldiver spill their regulation-issue coffee: these tentacled terrors are now weaponizing our own liberty-spreading equipment against us.

Multiple after-action reports describe the same horrifying scenario—Helldivers abandoning damaged Exosuits only to find themselves hunted down by their own equipment, now piloted by those democracy-hating squids. High Command initially dismissed these accounts as combat fatigue or excessive stimulant use.

When liberty comes back with a vengeance

In what can only be described as an affront to everything Super Earth stands for, the Illuminate in Helldivers 2 seem to have developed the tactical awareness to recognize our superior technology and turn it against its creators.

This is what happens when you don’t finish the job the first time around:

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

Sweet merciful democracy! What we’re witnessing is nothing short of tactical blasphemy. That shambling abomination—a Fleshmob, sewn together from fallen Voteless like some nightmare patchwork quilt—has figured out how to weaponize a taxpayer-funded Patriot Exosuit against its rightful operator.

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

The sheer audacity of these squids knows no bounds. First, they refuse our generous offer of managed democracy, and now they’re stealing our equipment? This is worse than when the bugs learned to dig tunnels under our defensive positions—at least they weren’t using OUR OWN HARDWARE to spread their undemocratic agenda.

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

Super Earth’s Ministry of Defense has issued Emergency Directive 47-B requiring all Helldivers to detonate abandoned equipment rather than risk it falling into tentacled hands. Remember, a good Helldiver would rather die in a blaze of patriotic glory than surrender their equipment to the enemy.

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

All in all, the May 13th invasion essentially brought not just new enemy types but apparently new cognitive capabilities. Next thing you know, they’ll be filing tax returns and demanding voting rights!

Bug or feature? Democracy demands answers

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

R&D never anticipated this. | Image Credit: PlayStation/

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

The Helldivers 2 community remains locked in debate over whether this behavior represents intentional game design or simply a glorious accident in Arrowhead‘s code. Either way, most agree it perfectly embodies the “everything can and will kill you” spirit of spreading liberty across the stars:

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

This development fits perfectly into the grand tradition of Super Earth’s enemies adapting to our superior tactics. First, the bugs developed thicker carapaces against our bullets. Then the bots built ******* tanks. Now the squids are stealing our rides. What’s next—Terminids filing copyright claims on our propaganda posters?

The timing couldn’t be more suspicious, really—coming right after the major update that introduced weapon customization and three new Illuminate enemy types. It’s almost as if High Command knew something we didn’t when they authorized those emergency Hellpod reinforcements to the eastern front.

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

by

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

from discussion
in

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

The ability to phase through solid matter would certainly explain how these tentacled traitors survived their supposed extinction in the First Galactic War. Perhaps they’ve been hiding between dimensions this whole time, studying our tactics and waiting for the perfect moment to strike at democracy’s heart.

Have you witnessed these liberty-stealing squids turning your equipment against you? Share your tales in the comments below!

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

#Squids #Tactics #Helldivers

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up