Academy Awards 2025 The best jokes from Conan O’Brien’s Oscars monologue

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Academy Awards 2025 The best jokes from Conan O’Brien’s Oscars monologue

Right from kick-off Conan O’Brien showed he was up for fun and wasn’t afraid to poke fun at himself and the major stars in his first outing as host of the Academy Awards.

Setting the off-beat tone, he was announced as a “four-time Oscar viewer” and emerged from Demi Moore’s spine, ala body horror Best Picture nominated movie The Substance, where Margaret Qualley’s character does the same.

It was full of fun and chaos, exactly as former late night host O’Brien likes it.

And, he even included a wacky dance number where the Dune worm played chopsticks on a grand piano followed by a dancing Deadpool.

Camera IconConan O’Brien dancing as the Dune work plays chopsticks. Credit: Myung J. Chun/Los Angeles Times via Getty Imag

Here are some of the best jokes from the opening monologue.

Ageing:

“I know what you’re thinking: ‘Did Conan not have work done? Seriously, he looks his age.’”

“A Complete Unknown, A Real Pain, Nosferatu. These are just some of the names I was called on the red carpet. I think two were fair.”

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O’Brien emerges from Demi Moore’s character from The Substance. Credit: X/Conan O’Brien/suppliedAdam Sandler

In a joke that had shades of Volodymyr Zelensky’s disastrous visit to the White House last week during which he was savaged for not wearing a suit, O’Brien ripped into Adam Sandler.

O’Brien: “Adam, what are you wearing?” he asked.

Sandler: “Conan, what are you doing?”

O’Brien: “I’m asking you what you’re wearing.”

Sandler: “No one even thought about what I was wearing until you brought it up.”

O’Brien: “You are dressed like a guy playing video poker at 2AM.”

Sandler: “I like the way I look. Because I’m a good person. I don’t care about what I wear and what I don’t wear.

“My snazzy gym shorts and fluffy sweatshirt offend you so much that you had to mock me in front (of) my peers!”

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O’Brien. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty ImagesWicked

“It’s the perfect movie for anybody who’s ever finished watching The Wizard of Oz and thought, Sure, but where did all the minor characters go to college?”

Scandal-plagued movie Emilia Perez

It might be nominated for 13 Academy Awards, but Emilia Perez has had anything but a smooth run in the lead up to the Oscars, with Best Actress nominee Karla Sofia Gascón in trouble for some unwise tweets.

O’Brien simply couldn’t resist.

“Karla Sofía Gascón is here tonight. Karla, if you are going to tweet about the Oscars, remember: My name is Jimmy Kimmel,” he joked.

And, he returned to the scandal later, saying “Anora uses the F-word 479 times. That’s three more than the record set by Karla Sofía Gascón’s publicist.”

On AI

It’s a huge issue for Hollywood at the moment, so of course O’Brien had to give it a mention.

“We did not use AI to make this show. No AI. We would never do that. We use child labour. Hey, they’re still people!”

Babygirl

In a reference to one of the most talked about movies of the year, although it is not nominated, Babygirl and on of its supporting actors Antonio Banderas, O’Brien gave a nod to its raunchy themes and again poked fun at himself.

He noted Banderas plays “a man who doesn’t know how to give his wife an orgasm”. But O’Brien said this was probably the actor’s “most challenging role of his career. Should’ve come to me, man.”

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#Academy #Awards #jokes #Conan #OBriens #Oscars #monologue

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