Anxiety Aunt: Help! How do I help out four older women looking for love this Christmas?

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Anxiety Aunt: Help! How do I help out four older women looking for love this Christmas?

Dear Aunty,

I’ve been working at the local shopping centre and am used to little children telling me what they want for Christmas but the other day four kind and lovely women, all in their mid-60s, decided to tell Santa what they wished for. All four said they would like a nice husband (obviously being single). I said Santa can give presents, but he can’t perform miracles. One said she wanted a rich man and I said, richness in character is priceless. I asked if they tried going on a cruise? They hadn’t. What other advice should I offer ladies in similar circumstances? Where are they likely to meet genuine men? Also, Aunty, I have not received your letter this year as yet. Rest assured it will be given priority (after earth’s 6 billion children).

Yours, Santa

Dear Santa,

There is absolutely no point in your Aunt putting pen to paper to write you a long list of everything One wants because as always, One has somehow ended up on the naughty list with no chance of redemption. One blames the postie for the transgressions. He led your Aunt down the garden path. But to be honest your Aunt is prone to wayward behaviour so it should come as no surprise that One will once again wake up with nothing under the Christmas tree on December 25.

Camera IconAnxiety Aunt Credit: Don Lindsay/TheWest

But back to your quandary. If your Aunt held out any hope of every finding someone One could tolerate for more than short 24-hour bursts, One would be less than inclined to share those idea with four women who sound like they might give your Aunt a run for her money in the sexy, single and ready-to-mingle stakes.

However, One has long ruled out any possibility that the ideal mate is out there, rolling his eyes at people who don’t bother to return their shopping trolleys to designated bays. Or who nearly loses his marbles when people stop dead in the middle of a shopping centre or city mall (particularly if the reason is simply to look at their phone), ignorant of the fact they are not fitted with brake lights on their backsides and with no awareness that there are people behind them moving at a similar speed who then have to quickly step around them to avoid a collision.

Oh, your Aunt could go on and on about things we would have to have a shared disdain for. Like people who hold up queues and queues of cars at the bowser while they seemingly do their weekly shop inside the petrol station when the petrol is going for $1.57 per litre on Tuesdays.

One is sure One could bond with a fine gent over the above grievances. But he can’t just share One’s **** peeves in life. He would also have to be a fellow who likes to have fun. Who likes to get out and about doing things rather than spending every spare second cooped up at home. And he’d have to enjoy laughing. Lots. Heartily. Often. Your Aunt also likes to get frisky so he would have to have the energy and inclination for that as well.

So, One supposes the message here is that the women you speak of should do things they love and enjoy and hopefully, if it is meant to be, they will find someone who shares their passion for whatever that activity is, whether it is hitting the gym, playing chess or mahjong at a local club or library, attending bingo. Going for bushwalks, year-round ocean swims or visiting the art gallery. One is a big believer in fate, Santa. Or as One’s Scottish grandmother liked to put it: “that what’s before ye, will no go by ye”. Meaning what is coming your way, will come your way.

Now if only some presents would come, your Aunt’s way … One really needs to work on being better behaved in 2025.

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#Anxiety #Aunt #older #women #love #Christmas

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