How Wharfedale Men’s Shed helps men make new friends

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How Wharfedale Men’s Shed helps men make new friends

BBC

Stuart Gregory (left) and Bob Miles (right) were two of Wharfedale Men’s Shed founder members in 2018

“I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t come to The Shed,” 72-year-old Bob Emblin reflects. “This place has been great.”

‘The Shed’ Bob is referring to is the Wharfedale Men’s Shed group – a place where blokes from this relatively affluent corner of north-west Leeds can come together once a week for some DIY, a coffee and a chinwag.

It is just one of a network of more than 1,100 Men’s Shed groups which have sprung up all over the *** since the first one was created in 2013.

The impact it is having on the gentlemen who attend the group, which meets in the town of Otley every Monday, is self-evident.

Retired BT engineer Bob was widowed during the Covid pandemic, which prompted him to start coming to the Wharfedale group.

“It was loneliness and the need for me to make a fresh start really,” Bob explains from a small makeshift coffee room.

Brian Simpson, Robert Burnett and Bob Emblin enjoy the social side to the group

“You feel you’ve got a reason or a motivation to do things.”

Bob chats against the buzzing backdrop of whirring industrial tools and woodwork machines in the next room – a laser cutter, bandsaw, lathe and a 3D printer among them.

It is in there that the group’s 20 or so members can ****** on with a project of some description, some of them requested by a local charity, the town council or a wildlife group.

Alternatively, it might just be a personal DIY job they want assistance with, or just some company while they potter and chisel away.

Hedgehog boxes have become something of a speciality for Neil O’Brien, who has been coming here since 2019.

“Every one of these that I make sells very quickly,” Neil chuckles. “They’re not expensive.

“No sooner have I made one, it disappears!”

Neil O’Brien’s handyman skills are very much in demand

Neil’s knowledge and experience mean he is in high demand when it comes to the others needing help with their own schemes. He jokes he is “invariably” rushed off his feet.

“My background is practical work,” he explains. “I’m more in the metal work side of things, but I’ve always done both metal and wood.

“It’s nice to be able to pass the knowledge on.”

One of those hoping to profit from Neil’s expertise is 32-year-old supply teacher Adam Tasker, who is proof that age is no barrier to membership here.

“Neil is going to teach me some stuff today,” Adam, who only started coming to Men’s Shed two weeks ago, enthuses.

“They’re really nice people.”

The group wants to move to a ******* base where it can cater for more members

That’s a view echoed by Robert Burnett, one of Bob’s pals back in the coffee room. “We all help each other,” the 63-year-old, who started coming here when he moved to Otley from nearby Burley-in-Wharfedale two years ago, says.

Robert jokes that the distinctive blue jumpers and polo shirts, personalised with members’ names, give them a “primary school” look, but they also carry an identity and a sense of belonging.

Anyone who signs up has to adhere to a code of conduct, which bars talk of politics and religion in the interests of maintaining harmony.

“We all have different outlooks and different views of the world but we leave it at the door,” Robert explains. “There’s the underlying message we’re all here to support each other and treat each other with respect.”

Robert says the group recently helped rebuild a local resident’s garden fence after wood from it was stolen.

“That gives us a bit of a buzz, because we’re actively working in the community and using our skills in a productive way,” he says.

Small wooden items crafted by members are on display at the front

While being a handyman might be a desirable trait, it is not compulsory.

According to Bob Miles, group secretary and one of its founder members, a “key part” of Wharfedale Men’s Shed is friendship and camaraderie.

“We make the point with any new member that you don’t have to use your hands,” Bob says. “It’s important you make friends. You can sit and chat, have a biscuit and a coffee.

“One of the worst things about retiring is you’ve spent lots of time with people around you (at work) and then all of a sudden you’re on your own.”

Bob believes that men “aren’t as good” as women at making new contacts.

“I wish men would be a little more forthcoming in that respect,” he adds. “But you get two guys working around a bench, cutting a bit of wood or whatever, and they start talking about all kinds of things.

“It’s almost a catalyst that helps them break out of that reserved mode.”

Expansion plans

But the group has become a victim of its own success. It has outgrown its current base, which is rather cramped and struggles to accommodate its members on the one day a week it has access to premises at the Otley Courthouse arts centre.

With this in mind, the news that it has managed to obtain planning permission to demolish a nearby derelict café and build its own facility on the land is particularly welcome.

Not only will this help it cope with growing demand, but they will be able to use the space more than one day a week and rent it out to other organisations too.

“Our intention is not to turn anyone away at all,” chairman Stuart Gregory, 77, says.

“We never say to anyone, ‘I’m sorry we’re full’. So far, touch wood, we seem to have coped with the membership.

“Hopefully when we get our new accommodation that problem will go away completely.”

Given the difference this group is making to individual members and the wider community, it’s a move they are desperate to make.

With additional reporting from Don Mort, Local Democracy Reporting Service

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